tehe.
I just want to have a silly post. One that expresses the happiness that I am feeling lately. Well, maybe I haven't been the happiest lately, but today is a pretty good day to start feeling happy. The sun isn't out but that won't stop me. I had a crazy stressful morning but that won't stop me. These things did stop me until I saw the castlist. Isn't strange how something so trivial can make you so happy? I mean it isn't really trivial, I'm trying not to brag though. If I can't brag here where can I? This post doesn't make any sense. Everything is contradicting something else. All I know is that I love Christopher Durang. His plays rule. He's what I aspire to be in terms of a playwright.
Meep.
Tuesday, March 30, 2010
Thursday, March 25, 2010
It's about time for another post!
Hey! Sorry it's been a while. I have good news! My play is a semi-finalist in the Young Playwrights Competition. I'm pretty excited about that. So, I'm going to do my bees post in the form of a play. I know I'm late. Sorry guys, this won't be formatted correctly due to my lack of expertise with computers.
SCENE 1 - [JACK and HARRIET are watching some crappy reality t.v. show on the couch of a nicely furnished living room. They are both about 13 years old and it's around 5:00 p.m. JACK's dad should be home any minute. HARRIET has red hair and freckles, she is one of the most popular girls in their grade. JACK is more bashful with dark hair and glasses, he usually wears skinny jeans and sweaters. JACK is towards the edge of the couch while HARRIET is closer to him. She slowly slides closer to him until their shoulders are touching. JACK seems completely enthralled in the t.v.'s action, while HARRIET has something else on her mind.]
JACK: (without realising how close HARRIET is) This show is disgusting. Why are we watching this? What were the creators thinking, lets put 20 bimbos in a house to compete for the heart of a semi-attractive, '80s has-been? I mean come on Har-- whoa, you're close to me.
HARRIET: You're so right, this show is stupid. I can think of something more fun to do.
JACK: Huh?
(HARRIET runs her finger down his chest)
What are you doing?
HARRIET: What do you mean? You invited me to your house on a Friday afternoon. I know what you want.
JACK: What are you talking about? I just want to hang out with you. You seem pretty cool.
HARRIET: (Laughing) That's what they all say. (JACK looks at her quizzically, he doesn't understand what's going on at all. HARRIET grabs him and kisses him hard, harder than a 13-year-old should know how to. His eyes remain open in shock. The door opens and in walks JACK'S FATHER. JACK pushes HARRIET off of him.)
JACK: You better go Harriet. (She pales and then leaves huffily) Dad, it really isn't what it looks like.
FATHER: I'm going to go change out of this monkey suit. When I get downstairs we're going to have a talk, man to man. (FATHER exits up the stairs. JACK gets up and paces.)
JACK: (mumbling to himself) Shit. That should not have happened. My dad is gonna kill me. Maybe he won't. Uh oh, what if he tries to give me the talk? I've known this was coming for years. I thought maybe I could escape but fate, ugh you are ---
FATHER:
(Coming down the stairs) Son, would you sit down please. It's about time that I tell you about the birds and the bees.
JACK: I go to a public school, this really isn't necessary.
FATHER: Heh, well actually I think it may be more necessary than you think.. (Sighing) Well, where should I start. Okay, okay, when I was your age I realised that I started having..erm urges. Before you say anything, I know this is going to be the strangest and most awkward conversation we have, hopefully ever. So these..um urges, well you might -- wait you learned about puberty already right?
JACK: Yeah, like two years ago.
FATHER: Okay, that makes my job a little easier. You understand what a..umm I dunno what you kids call them these days, well lets go scientific, you understand what an erection is right? (JACK nods and looks away quickly) And you know why you get them right? (JACK nods again) Then that goes uhh... I have an idea! Have you ever watched porn? (JACK flushes and quickly nods his head in a negative way) Alright, here we go. Go up to your room and I'll bring in the laptop for you. You're interested in women right? Of course, that was a silly question, you're a Roberts boy!
JACK: Actually dad, I dunno if that's true.
FATHER: When I walked in you were kissing that girl like you liked her, wait was that a boy?
JACK: No dad and she kissed me. I just wanted to be her friend because I liked her style.
FATHER: Okay. This is an issue for your mother to deal with. Go upstairs and we'll wait for her to get home.
JACK: O-okay. (He exits)
FATHER: That was more awkward than I'd prepared for. His mother's gonna have fun with that.
(MOTHER enters)
Speaking of the devil. Do I have a job for you honey!
FIN
This is post number 50. It's kind of special.
SCENE 1 - [JACK and HARRIET are watching some crappy reality t.v. show on the couch of a nicely furnished living room. They are both about 13 years old and it's around 5:00 p.m. JACK's dad should be home any minute. HARRIET has red hair and freckles, she is one of the most popular girls in their grade. JACK is more bashful with dark hair and glasses, he usually wears skinny jeans and sweaters. JACK is towards the edge of the couch while HARRIET is closer to him. She slowly slides closer to him until their shoulders are touching. JACK seems completely enthralled in the t.v.'s action, while HARRIET has something else on her mind.]
JACK: (without realising how close HARRIET is) This show is disgusting. Why are we watching this? What were the creators thinking, lets put 20 bimbos in a house to compete for the heart of a semi-attractive, '80s has-been? I mean come on Har-- whoa, you're close to me.
HARRIET: You're so right, this show is stupid. I can think of something more fun to do.
JACK: Huh?
(HARRIET runs her finger down his chest)
What are you doing?
HARRIET: What do you mean? You invited me to your house on a Friday afternoon. I know what you want.
JACK: What are you talking about? I just want to hang out with you. You seem pretty cool.
HARRIET: (Laughing) That's what they all say. (JACK looks at her quizzically, he doesn't understand what's going on at all. HARRIET grabs him and kisses him hard, harder than a 13-year-old should know how to. His eyes remain open in shock. The door opens and in walks JACK'S FATHER. JACK pushes HARRIET off of him.)
JACK: You better go Harriet. (She pales and then leaves huffily) Dad, it really isn't what it looks like.
FATHER: I'm going to go change out of this monkey suit. When I get downstairs we're going to have a talk, man to man. (FATHER exits up the stairs. JACK gets up and paces.)
JACK: (mumbling to himself) Shit. That should not have happened. My dad is gonna kill me. Maybe he won't. Uh oh, what if he tries to give me the talk? I've known this was coming for years. I thought maybe I could escape but fate, ugh you are ---
FATHER:
(Coming down the stairs) Son, would you sit down please. It's about time that I tell you about the birds and the bees.
JACK: I go to a public school, this really isn't necessary.
FATHER: Heh, well actually I think it may be more necessary than you think.. (Sighing) Well, where should I start. Okay, okay, when I was your age I realised that I started having..erm urges. Before you say anything, I know this is going to be the strangest and most awkward conversation we have, hopefully ever. So these..um urges, well you might -- wait you learned about puberty already right?
JACK: Yeah, like two years ago.
FATHER: Okay, that makes my job a little easier. You understand what a..umm I dunno what you kids call them these days, well lets go scientific, you understand what an erection is right? (JACK nods and looks away quickly) And you know why you get them right? (JACK nods again) Then that goes uhh... I have an idea! Have you ever watched porn? (JACK flushes and quickly nods his head in a negative way) Alright, here we go. Go up to your room and I'll bring in the laptop for you. You're interested in women right? Of course, that was a silly question, you're a Roberts boy!
JACK: Actually dad, I dunno if that's true.
FATHER: When I walked in you were kissing that girl like you liked her, wait was that a boy?
JACK: No dad and she kissed me. I just wanted to be her friend because I liked her style.
FATHER: Okay. This is an issue for your mother to deal with. Go upstairs and we'll wait for her to get home.
JACK: O-okay. (He exits)
FATHER: That was more awkward than I'd prepared for. His mother's gonna have fun with that.
(MOTHER enters)
Speaking of the devil. Do I have a job for you honey!
FIN
This is post number 50. It's kind of special.
Thursday, March 11, 2010
Thursday, March 4, 2010
Asstronaut
I see you leave your trophy wife and your two perfect children. People look at you thinking, "Oh, he's so brave!" "He's so wonderful." "Such a lucky wife." I know you eat that shit up. I think it's good that you're going to space. I hope you have fun up there.
There's nobody for you to hurt up there.
You're about to leave me for two years. You're leaving me with our kids. You're leaving me with our house. You're leaving me with your debt. You're leaving me with things to keep me busy, but nothing to keep me happy. You're going to be with your friends for two years. You're going to explore and learn. You're going to be happy. You have no idea what I know.
I hope our kids don't remember the lying, cheating, scumbag of a father they have.
Space is going to so fun. I heard there's no nagging wife up there. No needy kids. I also heard that there are no women for me to take advantage of. It's not perfect but I'll get away for a while. When I come back, I'll have to face the debt, the affair, and the other secrets I kept.
I hope I don't come back.
There's nobody for you to hurt up there.
You're about to leave me for two years. You're leaving me with our kids. You're leaving me with our house. You're leaving me with your debt. You're leaving me with things to keep me busy, but nothing to keep me happy. You're going to be with your friends for two years. You're going to explore and learn. You're going to be happy. You have no idea what I know.
I hope our kids don't remember the lying, cheating, scumbag of a father they have.
Space is going to so fun. I heard there's no nagging wife up there. No needy kids. I also heard that there are no women for me to take advantage of. It's not perfect but I'll get away for a while. When I come back, I'll have to face the debt, the affair, and the other secrets I kept.
I hope I don't come back.
Monday, March 1, 2010
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