i can't just stay in one place and be happy. i need these changes.

i need one day. ONE day!
to sit and write and be quiet.
or LOUD.
or however i want.

i just need time for me, no worries.



stress free.

person-vs-self

PERSON: I love Dexter. Why would anyone ever stop watching it?

SELF: Some people have term papers to improve upon.

PERSON: Screw that. There's always tomorrow.

SELF: You're not little orphan Annie.

PERSON: But I am Annie.

SELF: STFU.

ANNIE: This is a test post for everyone, in case you were wondering.

READERS: Yr dumb.

ANNIE: False. Anyway, this blog is going to be posted in a way similar to that of a script. I just want to spice it up a little, ya know.

READERS: Still sounds dumb.

ANNIE: No seriously, just go with it. I'll only post the most interesting conversations. Oh and they might be a little different from the true quotes. I'm doin' my best. The first dialogue I'd like to post occurred yesterday morning at 6:00am. Enjoy!

ANNIE (at 6:00am): Who the fuck is knocking on our door?

GAYMOND: Oh hai!

ANNIE: What the fuck? Go away. Do NOT spoon me. I am sleeping. How the fuck did you get into the building?

GAYMOND: Connections. I have them.

CECILY: What is this?

GAYMOND: Hi.

CECILY: Don't you come over here! Get your ass out of here.

ANNIE: Get out right now. Fer reals.

GAY: Fiiiiine.

After Gaymond finally left, we rolled over and went back to sleep. When we woke up, we went to Jake's Business/Marketing Presentation. I kind of have a crush on Jake. I was ecstatic post-his presentation. I got to hug him. I just lost all of my male readers.

After leaving the Management building, I went to get bubble tea.

ANNIE (at bubble tea place): Hi, can I have a medium lychee apple?

CASHIER (very nice looking, if I do say so myself): NO.

ANNIE: (Dejectedly) Oh, then can I --

CASHIER: Just kidding!

ANNIE: Oh, ahaha. Can I have tapioca pearls in it please?

CASHIER: NO.

ANNIE: Eh?

CASHIER: Just kidding! Got you again!

ANNIE: Ahhh. Tricky.

CASHIER (to barist[o]): I can't believe you watched that episode without me.

BARIST[O]: Sorry, Sokka.

CASHIER: Don't call me that.

BARIST[O]: Ok, Sokka.

CASHIER: Fine, Aang.

I would just like to add that I was delighted at their discussion of Avatar: the Last Airbender and I would like to thank Netflix for having all of it on there.

One more conversation: this happened while going to see Inception (for the second time) with Jake. And Lizzie.

ANNIE (whispered to Jake): It's so cold in here.

JAKE: Definitely.

Then he grabbed my hand. We held hands and made hand-sweat babies. During our two-line conversation, his arms were tucked into his shirt. He looked like a t-rex. I was wearing raspberry colored legwarmers on my arms.

Alright. I know I'm a dork. Please give me feedback. If you hate it let me know. I also kind of want to know if anyone actually reads this.

i want this blog to be fun and interesting. i think it needs a makeover. maybe it will become completely composed of dialogue.

that's fun, right?

test post soon.

do.not.want.

Seriously.

I just want to do what makes me happy. I don't want to be bitched at by you. I don't want to deal with the competivity. I know I'm not that talented. It never mattered to you before, before last year. Fuck this. I'm done.

good news for people who love good news

I don't know if I've ever been happier.

The independence is relieving. I feel like I'm actually learning rather than just being taught. These things are interesting. It makes me anxious for college. It makes me envy those graduates.

Sure, there are a few problems, but it's never been smooth sailing for me anyway. I'm happy. It's fun. I meet rad people.

Right now, I just want to write. Maybe I'm inspired. I want to be an inspiration to others.

ITS GHOST BILLY!

LOVING IT.

I have my brettney, cecil, jaypay, griffin and wansiii!

I'm good to go.

Writing is truly a brilliant exercise of the mind.

I can hardly contain my excitement. Syracuse University Summer College is right around the corner. It's going to be so awesome to be able to actually be on my own for a little while. I'm going to the Public Communications program at the S.I. Newhouse School. It makes me so excited to think that I get to study at one of the best communications programs in the country for free. I kind of want to go there for real college. It's too close though. I would get to go for free but I'm not sure if it's worth it.

I sent in a roommate request form upon which I requested Cecily. I hope they honor my request because Cec and I have already decided that we're going to have a fridge and a beta fish named Crackers. It's gonna rule.

Everyone we know can come visit us at Summer College as long as we aren't in class. Wednesday, JP and Lizzie are gonna be living in the same dorm as Cec and I during different portions of the six weeks.

Yeah. Six weeks starting on July 5th I'm so excited.

P.S. My sister made me a blueberry hat with a cute face. Pictures may come at some point in the near future.
P.S.

I remember that four years ago we thought the world was going to end and that Nathan's plane would crash. We were at lacrosse practice for the Eastwood Bears. I don't think we honestly expecting anything to happen but we enjoyed the novelty of the date, time and grade we were in. I miss those days.

Let's make something together.

No, I'm not talking about a child, although I do have a rather large bowl.

I've decided to start writing for fun. It's not something that many people actually think about. Usually it's more of the 'ugh, I have to write this...' or something of that nature. No this is actually for fun and experience. I like writing. I really like writing but I think that I need more practice.

They say writing improves with reading. Well who are 'they' and what do 'they' know? I just finished a collection of 27 of Christopher Durang's One-Acts. I'm trying to really immerse myself in the writing of successful performance authors. I want to be a screenwriter someday.

What does this post have to do with anything?

Oh that's right, it's my way of saying 'I'm baaaaaaaaaaack!'

Heeeeey!

I started a tumblr but then I didn't know how to use it so I stopped using it. I'm stuck in teen angst land and AP exams don't help. This coming week is probably going to be hell for me. I have rehearsal everyday for Durang Durang on top of everything else.

Tomorrow (Monday) I have my French AP exam which I am probably -- no definitely going to fail. I skipped a year of French and I'm taking this class as an independent study. It suckss.

On Tuesday, I have school then rehearsal then my final playwriting class performance. I'm very sad to see it come to an end. My play is complete but I have to write a 500 word essay about how I've grown as a writer and that kind of stuff. It's weird but Mr. Fonte is such a good teacher I didn't even feel like I learned anything but looking back I learned a hell of a lot. Oh, and my play for All-Night-Playwrights was a finalist in the Syracuse Stage Young Playwrights Festival. I thought it sucked but apparently the board thought it was good. It was performed by SU drama students, I thought it was awesome.

On Wednesday, I have school then rehearsal then my interview for SU Summer College scholarship. I could get a free summer college experience, which would totally rule. I ordered new dresses but they haven't arrived yet. I hope they look nice. I can't really worry about that right now, though.

Thursday is the dress rehearsal for my play. That is stressful enough in and of itself. And Friday is the show. I just hope I survive this week.

Oh and P.S. I have a mega nasty cold. Raaaaaaaaaaaad.

I'm very angsty lately. Probably because this isn't a break, this is just more waiting to get to classes and hang out with people. Don't get me wrong, I like hanging out with people I just don't like having no time to sleep or getting up early and having long busy days. I love playwriting class but I hate having to miss most of lost and have to watch it the next day. I like french, but not enough to pay for an exam that I'm most likely going to fail or get up at 7AM to go to a review class for said exam.

I just need a nap.

Oh and plus, the attention hogging financial strain is in town fucking things up.

Man, my life rules.

iiiiiiiii need to do so much

damn, this is relatable

tehe.

I just want to have a silly post. One that expresses the happiness that I am feeling lately. Well, maybe I haven't been the happiest lately, but today is a pretty good day to start feeling happy. The sun isn't out but that won't stop me. I had a crazy stressful morning but that won't stop me. These things did stop me until I saw the castlist. Isn't strange how something so trivial can make you so happy? I mean it isn't really trivial, I'm trying not to brag though. If I can't brag here where can I? This post doesn't make any sense. Everything is contradicting something else. All I know is that I love Christopher Durang. His plays rule. He's what I aspire to be in terms of a playwright.

Meep.

It's about time for another post!

Hey! Sorry it's been a while. I have good news! My play is a semi-finalist in the Young Playwrights Competition. I'm pretty excited about that. So, I'm going to do my bees post in the form of a play. I know I'm late. Sorry guys, this won't be formatted correctly due to my lack of expertise with computers.

SCENE 1 - [JACK and HARRIET are watching some crappy reality t.v. show on the couch of a nicely furnished living room. They are both about 13 years old and it's around 5:00 p.m. JACK's dad should be home any minute. HARRIET has red hair and freckles, she is one of the most popular girls in their grade. JACK is more bashful with dark hair and glasses, he usually wears skinny jeans and sweaters. JACK is towards the edge of the couch while HARRIET is closer to him. She slowly slides closer to him until their shoulders are touching. JACK seems completely enthralled in the t.v.'s action, while HARRIET has something else on her mind.]

JACK: (without realising how close HARRIET is) This show is disgusting. Why are we watching this? What were the creators thinking, lets put 20 bimbos in a house to compete for the heart of a semi-attractive, '80s has-been? I mean come on Har-- whoa, you're close to me.

HARRIET: You're so right, this show is stupid. I can think of something more fun to do.

JACK: Huh?

(HARRIET runs her finger down his chest)

What are you doing?

HARRIET: What do you mean? You invited me to your house on a Friday afternoon. I know what you want.

JACK: What are you talking about? I just want to hang out with you. You seem pretty cool.

HARRIET: (Laughing) That's what they all say. (JACK looks at her quizzically, he doesn't understand what's going on at all. HARRIET grabs him and kisses him hard, harder than a 13-year-old should know how to. His eyes remain open in shock. The door opens and in walks JACK'S FATHER. JACK pushes HARRIET off of him.)

JACK: You better go Harriet. (She pales and then leaves huffily) Dad, it really isn't what it looks like.

FATHER: I'm going to go change out of this monkey suit. When I get downstairs we're going to have a talk, man to man. (FATHER exits up the stairs. JACK gets up and paces.)

JACK: (mumbling to himself) Shit. That should not have happened. My dad is gonna kill me. Maybe he won't. Uh oh, what if he tries to give me the talk? I've known this was coming for years. I thought maybe I could escape but fate, ugh you are ---

FATHER:
(Coming down the stairs) Son, would you sit down please. It's about time that I tell you about the birds and the bees.

JACK: I go to a public school, this really isn't necessary.

FATHER: Heh, well actually I think it may be more necessary than you think.. (Sighing) Well, where should I start. Okay, okay, when I was your age I realised that I started having..erm urges. Before you say anything, I know this is going to be the strangest and most awkward conversation we have, hopefully ever. So these..um urges, well you might -- wait you learned about puberty already right?

JACK: Yeah, like two years ago.

FATHER: Okay, that makes my job a little easier. You understand what a..umm I dunno what you kids call them these days, well lets go scientific, you understand what an erection is right? (JACK nods and looks away quickly) And you know why you get them right? (JACK nods again) Then that goes uhh... I have an idea! Have you ever watched porn? (JACK flushes and quickly nods his head in a negative way) Alright, here we go. Go up to your room and I'll bring in the laptop for you. You're interested in women right? Of course, that was a silly question, you're a Roberts boy!

JACK: Actually dad, I dunno if that's true.

FATHER: When I walked in you were kissing that girl like you liked her, wait was that a boy?

JACK: No dad and she kissed me. I just wanted to be her friend because I liked her style.

FATHER: Okay. This is an issue for your mother to deal with. Go upstairs and we'll wait for her to get home.

JACK: O-okay. (He exits)

FATHER: That was more awkward than I'd prepared for. His mother's gonna have fun with that.

(MOTHER enters)

Speaking of the devil. Do I have a job for you honey!

FIN

This is post number 50. It's kind of special.

NEW WORD OF THE TIME BEING!

SPOONY!

meaning: enamored in a silly or sentimental way

I am spoony for Charlie from LOST.

Asstronaut

I see you leave your trophy wife and your two perfect children. People look at you thinking, "Oh, he's so brave!" "He's so wonderful." "Such a lucky wife." I know you eat that shit up. I think it's good that you're going to space. I hope you have fun up there.

There's nobody for you to hurt up there.

You're about to leave me for two years. You're leaving me with our kids. You're leaving me with our house. You're leaving me with your debt. You're leaving me with things to keep me busy, but nothing to keep me happy. You're going to be with your friends for two years. You're going to explore and learn. You're going to be happy. You have no idea what I know.

I hope our kids don't remember the lying, cheating, scumbag of a father they have.

Space is going to so fun. I heard there's no nagging wife up there. No needy kids. I also heard that there are no women for me to take advantage of. It's not perfect but I'll get away for a while. When I come back, I'll have to face the debt, the affair, and the other secrets I kept.

I hope I don't come back.

astronaut mike dexter.
<3333

you're more of angel than a ghost, and i like to think you look out for us.

guess who hasn't been a facebook slave for many days?

word of every other day:

EDUTAINMENT!

noun Any of various media, such as computer software, that educate and entertain.

Schoolhouse Rock is my favorite type of edutainment.

word of the day is:

WANDERLUST

meaning a very strong impulse to travel.

I have wanderlust to travel to the LOST island.

word of the day is:

ECTOMORPHIC!

That means being built with little muscle or fat.

Used in a sentence:

I like my men ECTOMORPHIC and homosexual!

thank you to wordnik.com and kaitlin!

CAN YOU FUCKING TELL I DON'T NEED YOUR LIMITS?

I really like this. I'm trying not to consider it as a career, but I love it. More than biology, more than fashion, maybe not more than acting. It's really similar to acting though. A very stiff competition, creativity is always necessary, and I get to try on characters. I think that's my favorite part of acting anyways. Well, I do really like the spotlight. I like making people laugh. I like seeing things coming together. Gah, the future is crazy. I want to go to Drexel.

I like the Olympics. My swim coach qualified, unfortunately that was the year that the U.S. boycotted. I feel so bad for her. She seems to have a pretty good life now though. It's not a future I would like for myself. I think my biggest fear is that I'm going to hate my life when I grow up. I want to be doing something that I love.

I want to have five kids. One of them will be an Olympic champion, one will cure cancer, one will be a popstar, one will be the first woman president, and the last one will be a successful actor. It's weird because maybe I want to be all of these things for myself so I can only hope that someone will be as happy as I desire to be.

I think I need to start expanding my vocabulary. Leave me a fun word and I'll use it.

The word of the day is incisive: suitable for cutting or piercing. Thank you random SAT word generator.

This is post number 40, that's why it's real.

Brr.....

So, I guess I'm finally pulling out of the slump. God, that rut was awful. I feel like I need to write. Not about me though. Maybe about the people in my head.

Oh jeez. I sound crazy.

What I really need is sleep.

i dunno why

but i was looking up baby names. these are the ones i like:

for boys: Owen, Sebastian, Samson, Wiley, Elijah, Cole, Bennett, Finley, Brett, Vaughn

for girls: Clementine, Estelle (with Ellie or Stella for short), Eloise, Olive, Emilia, Isabella, Sophie, Scarlett, Minnie

is this weird? i just like names, i guess

marilyn monroe is a hottie

"My Song

My sex is ice cream
come to me
there's a tender dream
to share
I'm every man's love affair
with America
sweet angel of sex
sugar of sex
generous
adventuresome
forgiving
compliant
and tender
I ask no price
I'm waiting between the sheets
a rare sexy morning
take me
I'm easy
I'm happy
child-goddess nymphet
child of the universe
my skin glowing
my undergarment
I'm an angel of sex, you bet
and as the poet says
when you drink a beer to me
(even yet)
Let a smile come to your lips.
I'm every man's love affair
with America
sweet angel of sex
sugar of sex
generous
adventuresome
forgiving
compliant
and tender
I ask no price
I'm waiting between the sheets
a rare sexy morning
take me
I'm easy
I'm happy
child-goddess nymphet
child of the universe
my skin glowing
my undergarment
I'm an angel of sex, you bet
and as the poet says
when you drink a beer to me
(even yet)
Let a smile come to your lips."

NO.WANT.HIGH.SCHOOL.

eeeeeeeeee!

SO CUTE!

Last but not least,

here's phyllis fontaine!

heeeeere's JERRY!

I made that for a drama project. It's supposed to be May Daniels' outfit from "Once in a Lifetime". Jerry Hyland and Phyllis Fontaine are coming up!

This is post number 30. I feel like it should be real. My mind is racing but with nothing specific.

Today, I watched many movies on netflix. They depeicted elaborate love stories, happiness and longtime friendship. They showed heartbreak, and sadness, and death. I'm left with an intense feeling of melancholy. I envy those sweet awkward first relationships and I sympathize with the ending of relationships. I can't quite relate to all of it, or well, any of it.

I talk about how much high school sucks a lot. I guess it isn't all true. Sometimes I think it's completely false. I just can't wait to meet new and exciting people. Don't get me wrong, I love most of the people I hang out with now, I just need more variety. I need the freedom that comes with college. I'm sick of having my life completely planned out. Yeah, as much as I hate to admit it, I'm a planner. The outcome always needs to be calculated for me. I need to experiment.

Why are teenagers such douchebags? We're jealous, greasy, immature, and full of hormones. None of that seems pleasant to me. I just can't wait to be grown up and have a life. Partying doesn't seem fun and exciting to me, I'm straight edge and socially awkward. I do love being around people that I know and am comfortable around, though.

I just keep hoping for something better.

i'm pining for new york

i aspire to be tina fey and be married to jim halpert with kenneth parcell as my best friend.

bof fri fleu

you and me baby ain't nothing but mammals

i don't know about you.

you hurt one of my friends.

you're nice but i want to be loyal.

why the fuck is there always drama?

even if it's not spoken i know it's there.

i want a banjo.

too long, too long. hold up.

i wish i was invincible.

whoooosh!

This year seems to be going by incredibly quickly. I still can't believe Stage Door is over. I absolutely loved being Bobby Melrose, the southern belle. Suuuper cute and fun, I just wish I had more scenes. Well, whatever. Now it's audition time for the musical! Oh noes.

My grandparents are already leaving for Florida. Shiiiit. This means we get their dumbass dog.

I leave you with this lovely and insightful quote, "Fuck you both, I'm a good mom." That was my mom showing how loving she really is.

what english sounds like to foreigners.

i mostly like when the guy gives the ok sign!