Asstronaut

I see you leave your trophy wife and your two perfect children. People look at you thinking, "Oh, he's so brave!" "He's so wonderful." "Such a lucky wife." I know you eat that shit up. I think it's good that you're going to space. I hope you have fun up there.

There's nobody for you to hurt up there.

You're about to leave me for two years. You're leaving me with our kids. You're leaving me with our house. You're leaving me with your debt. You're leaving me with things to keep me busy, but nothing to keep me happy. You're going to be with your friends for two years. You're going to explore and learn. You're going to be happy. You have no idea what I know.

I hope our kids don't remember the lying, cheating, scumbag of a father they have.

Space is going to so fun. I heard there's no nagging wife up there. No needy kids. I also heard that there are no women for me to take advantage of. It's not perfect but I'll get away for a while. When I come back, I'll have to face the debt, the affair, and the other secrets I kept.

I hope I don't come back.